


Life Lessons

by Elphabuddy



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst, Blame Game, Death, Funeral, Grief, Grieving, Late Night Conversations, Revenge gone wrong, Spring Fling, bus accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elphabuddy/pseuds/Elphabuddy
Summary: Cady has learned a lot since the incident.For starters, she’s learned that actions can have consequences more serious than you thought they would. She’s learned that you can’t trust people just because they’ve treated you nicely. She’s learned a new type of loneliness.
Relationships: Cady Heron & Damian Hubbard, Cady Heron & Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian, Cady Heron & Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	Life Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Death, Funeral, Grieving

Cady has learned a lot since the incident.

For starters, she’s learned that actions can have consequences more serious than you thought they would. She’s learned that you can’t trust people just because they’ve treated you nicely. She’s learned a new type of loneliness. The kind of loneliness that you have no one but yourself to blame for.

However, for her worst lesson yet, she’s learned that being revived does not mean you’ll survive the blood loss on the way to the hospital.

Karen and Gretchen stop hanging out with her, Aaron won’t even look at her, the rest of the school treats her like a pariah. All but 2. The 2 teens that started it all.

She’s been avoiding them but it’s been getting harder as time’s passed. She wants nothing to do with them. Not after what they got her to do. 

Janis and Damian stop by her locker a week after the accident, forcing her to engage. “How are you holding up, Caddy?” Damian asks warily.

“I’ll survive,” Cady deadpans.

“Lucky you,” Janis says jovially.

“Excuse you?”

“I’m messing with you, Caddy. Are we doing anything tonight?” The pair look at her expectantly.

Cady has never felt so disgusted. It’s just another day for them. They feel nothing about what they’ve caused. They really think that things can go back to the way they were.

“No. I never want to speak to either of you again,” she says aggressively.

“What?” Janis chuckles shocked.

“I said no. How can you think any of this is ok? I did this for you. Now my hands have blood on them because of you, because I wanted to impress someone my age. Both of you are bad influences. I’m done. I want out,” Cady snaps in a hushed voice.

“Don’t act like you were innocent in this,” Janis snarls lowly.

“Actually, I know I’m not. That’s why I don’t want to be near you.” Cady slams her locker shut. She pauses, trying to swallow back the word vomit. Not this loud. Not at school, in front of people that already think that she pushed her. It spews out anyways. “Also, it’s not like you’re still scrubbing someone else’s blood out from under your fingernails. Leave me alone.”

She hears Damian telling Janis to drop it. At least someone gets it. She storms off. That’s the day that she begins to eat her lunch in a bathroom stall again.

***

Regina would have hated this, Cady thinks ruefully. Her funeral is outside, sunny, and filled with people that she made fun of regularly. Most people there had had something added to their burn book page since she got there this year.

She stares at ground for nearly the entire thing. She can’t stand to look around the crowd and see people she knows hated her crying that she’s gone. If she doesn’t look at them, she can pretend that their sobs are all coming from the same sorrow that she’s feeling.

Her feet ache as she stands by the already covered grave but these are the same heels that they got together on the first day they met. It’s only fitting that she wears them today.

The thought crosses her mind on how absolutely inappropriate they look for the occasion. They’re tall, flashy, and the first time Janis saw them, she called them stripper heels but they’re also pink and they’re connected to Regina and it’s Wednesday. What was she going to do? Disrespect the dead further?

She glances up to the people actually grieving her. Gretchen and Karen are hip to hip. Karen’s arm is tightly around Gretchen’s shaking shoulders. They’re both still following all the rules of fashion for today. They’re probably the only people their age there that genuinely miss her.

Kylie is kneeling on the dirt at the edge of the grave without the gravestone. A wave of guilty nausea crashes in her gut. She is the reason her sister is gone. No amount of apologies can fix it.

Mrs. George keeps trying to beckon her remaining child back to her but she stays planted there. The woman isn’t crying but she’s so stiff that Cady almost expects to hear the snapping off a rubber band when a stiff breeze blows past them. She sees how her jaw clenches and there is so much of Regina in it that she can’t let herself linger.

She hears something behind her and turns back. She doesn’t see anything at first but, after a second glance, she notices the base of a tree moving.

Janis is blended in well enough and she’s far enough away to not be immediately noticed. It looks like that’s the point with her outfit and how tightly she’s twisted in on herself.

It looks like she’s shaking too. She’s probably laughing. This is what she wanted all along, right? For Regina to be gone? She got her wish.

Still, the hacking cough and wail for God to forgive her that comes from that area doesn’t sound happy that Regina’s gone. The shaking gets more intense. Cady looks back at the ground beneath her.

Cady hugs Mrs. George tightly before she leaves. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she whispers wobbly.

“I’m sorry for yours too,” Mrs. George whispers back.

It takes everything in Cady to not instantly fall apart. She manages to drive to a gas station where no one from the funeral stopped and park behind the building before the tears start. She notices a familiar ratty pickup across the parking lot when her mom has to come pick her up to get her home safely.

***

There is mural on the front of the school the next day. A field of various different pink flowers and a figure with blonde hair whipping across her face as she stares out into the distance. If that isn’t Janis’s handiwork, she’ll be genuinely shocked.

Cady makes her way to Norbury’s class and sits at her desk silently. Janis and Damian are already there. Damian’s talking to Janis slowly, much slower than Cady’s used to him talking when he doesn’t have to for a part, but Janis is clearly not taking anything in.

She nods like she’s paying attention but she’s so far in her head that Cady can’t see any of Janis in her face. Her eyes are puffy like she’s been crying for hours. She looks truly dead inside.

Cady almost feels bad for her. She would actually feel bad if they hadn’t brought this on themselves.

She notices the hot pink staining the punk’s fingers and jacket sleeves, confirming her initial assumption of the addition to NHS. Cady ruffles her hair out of her eyes. “Janis?”

Janis blinks and she’s back in the real world. “Yup?” she says thickly, as if she’s been sleeping with her eyes open.

“Your memorial is beautiful,” Cady says gently.

Janis taps her brow and flicks her fingers out in a faux salute. Norbury comes in and they don’t speak on that any further.

***

Cady almost laughs when Regina wins Spring Fling Queen posthumously. She’s dead. Did people seriously think she’d rise from the grave for a hunk of brittle dollar store plastic? Or was it merely for their pride so no one had to admit to letting the dead girl lose?

She claps politely as Gretchen accepts it in her honor. She isn’t sure what it is about it but she wants to break that stupid tiara into teeny tiny pieces and throw out every last bit. It’s so worthless.

But it won’t be worthless to who’s actually getting it since Cady overhears Gretchen talking to someone and finds out that it’s going to Mrs. George. At least someone who can appreciate it will get it. It soothes a little bit of her rage over these assholes and their empty actions.

Janis approaches her, lifting her hand loosely to wave. Her movements are heavy and clunky. The exhausted bags under her eyes can’t be covered by makeup any longer. “Are you actually digging this? Cuz you look like someone’s stabbing needles in your eyes,” she says.

“I’m not digging this. Not in the slightest,” Cady confirms.

Everyone is dancing as if they didn’t just give a dead girl an award to feel better about themselves. They can move forward now. This isn’t grim as all hell to them. This is closure.

“It’s about Spring Fling Queen, isn’t it?” Janis asks sarcastically. Cady opens her mouth to answer but Janis cuts her off. “The grimace screams yes.”

“It is,” she admits.

“Dam’s in the bathroom at the moment. Wanna go to Denny’s together when he gets back?” Janis offers.

And she’d have held out on her rage but she misses them. She hates herself for it but she misses them deeply. “Only if we can talk about what happened,” Cady says firmly.

“Didn’t expect anything else,” Janis says. Her classic smirk is weak, almost as if it’s taking physical effort. Damian returns and they leave.

Cady is grateful for the cool air blowing on her face as Janis drives with her windows down. It feels almost normal. It’s the most normal she’s felt since they made their revenge plot.

She closes her eyes and focuses on the rock music blasting out of the speakers. The truck stops and she hears the shifter click into park. She sits up and gets out to release Damian from the middle.

They’re instantly seated in the basically empty restaurant and get coffee all around the table. “How are you?” Janis asks slowly.

“Honestly? I’m shitty. What about the two of you?” Cady answers.

Damian runs his fingers through his hair. Janis’s hands shake as she takes a drink. Both of them look so much worse for the wear. “Not great,” Damian replies.

“So fucked up,” Janis mumbles into her cup.

“I never thought... I mean, a bus?” Cady whispers.

Damian shakes his head. “Never.”

Janis taps her fingers against the table. “Is it bad that I thought that she was basically immortal? Like, yeah, that’s impossible, but she was just... I saw that girl jump, JUMP, off of the top of a ten-foot tall slide. Not so much as a fucking scrape. She didn’t even say ow. Just for this? This is what takes her down? A bus going 15 miles an hour? It doesn’t make any fucking sense,” she says shakily. She rubs at her face blearily.

“Remember that time she ate an entire chili pepper in 10th grade on a dare. Nothing. She was barely phased,” Damian adds.

“Yeah. Her face was the lightest shade of pink. That was it. That was the extent of her react. You know what part of this I truly didn’t expect?” Janis says.

“What?” Cady asks.

“I miss her. Like, I didn’t get to make good with her, I didn’t get an apology, I didn’t get to apologize, I definitely did not get justice since this is way too far a punishment than she deserved. Both of us get nothing. There’s no resolution possible,” Janis says emotionlessly. She shakes her head and chuckles lowly. “And I don’t mean to sound like one of those “I’d have been nicer if I knew” people. That’s not what I mean. I just truly expected this to level the playing field and make things even. This isn't close to being in the ballpark of level playing fields. I have never been more wrong in my life and I have done some dumbass shit.”

Cady’s gut chews a little more viciously at that. She can’t take it anymore. There’s no honor among co-conspirators anyway, right?

She glances around the restaurant. There’s only one old couple and they’re multiple tables away. She leans in regardless. “I’ve got a secret and I don’t know how to deal with it much longer without telling someone. I need you both to swear that you’ll never speak of this again, ok?”

“What kind of secret?” Janis asks.

“People might be right about me pushing her,” Cady whispers.

“What?” Janis hisses.

Cady lip wobbles. God, she really is going to cry in this Denny’s, isn’t she? Damian lays his hands on the one that she has resting on the table. “I tried to grab her and make her stop walking away from me. I know my hand was outstretched. I don’t remember touching her but I don’t know that I didn’t. I wanted to pull her back but if I made contact, I think it would have been a shove with how fast I was walking and how fast she stopped. I think I killed my friend,” she whimpers.

“Caddy, that’s an accident,” Damian says.

“It’s manslaughter,” Cady says. She starts crying. She has no idea how things got so messed up. She just wanted her to stop and talk. How could this happen? How could she do this to her friend? “What if I did?”

“Yeah? And what if you didn’t? Did you see those shoes? That pace? She was angry enough to break a heel or miss the curb or just flat out not look both ways. Hell, she could have tripped because she was unsteady. This isn’t on you,” Janis says.

She gets on Cady’s side of the booth. She hugs her tightly, the scent of paint, smoke, and coffee heavy on her purple suit jacket. Cady leans her head on Janis’s shoulder. “But it might have been,” she sobs.

“I doubt it. And, even IF you did, it wasn’t intentional. We don’t think any differently of you. Right, Damian?” Janis coos.

“Correct,” he confirms, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

“It should have been me,” Cady sobs.

Janis pulls back and holds her by the jaw gently. She forces her to look her in the eyes. The seriousness between them makes Cady’s entire body physically ache. “It absolutely should not have been. You are a good person. Better than me. I should have never put you up to this and I’m so sorry that I did,” Janis whispers before pulling her back into a hug.

Cady starts sobbing even harder. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Janis whispers. She leans her cheek against the top of Cady’s head and holds her until she cries herself dry. Janis rubs her back gently as she calms down. “Hey. Wanna have a sleepover at my house? We could watch movies about good Spring Flings? Or maybe something like Moana? I know you love Hei Hei.”

“Because he’s the superior princess companion!” Cady pauses. “But you hate Disney,” she sniffles.

“I like Moana,” Janis says. She sighs deeply, flashing a quick smile. “And I’ve missed you. I’d do nearly anything as long as it was with you.”

Cady pats Damian’s hands with her other hand. She sits up straighter and Janis releases her. She rolls her stiff neck around. “Ok.”

They order their food to-go since none of them actually have the stomach to eat after that and they know that they won’t for a while. Janis drops Cady off to change out of her dress and grab whatever she needs to stay over.

She fills her parents in on their plans quick before running out the door again. Janis teases her about her lion pjs while Damian hushes her because “they’re as cute as you, Cady-cat".

True to her word, Janis willingly watches Moana and Damian sings along loudly just to spite Janis. Just like they used to. It feels wrong while feeling right and it feels a little lighter than before while it also feels heavier than ever.

Cady knows that she needs to learn how to be ok with opposites like that. That things won’t be great for a long time but they’re allowed to be ok despite the good and the bad and she isn’t as evil as she’s felt for weeks.

Janis throws a piece of popcorn at her and tells her to pick a new movie after Moana finishes. Cady picks some Mamma Mia to irk Janis and delight Damian. She giggles when Damian makes both stand to dance with him to Dancing Queen.

It’s the first time she’s actually laughed from happiness since Regina passed away. Maybe this is the first lesson on living with this weight for the rest of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: elphabuddy


End file.
